I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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