I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
