last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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