That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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