Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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