I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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