is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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