I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize