you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
