My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
