Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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