Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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