I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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