Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
