how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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