Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
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I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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