Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
