we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
