so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
