I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
