Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
