It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
