i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
