He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
