i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
