Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize