Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
