two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
