So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
