I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw a hot homeless man
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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