Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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