I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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