if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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