Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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