Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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