we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
