i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
