bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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