I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
