did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
