Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
