how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
