my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize