Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
