I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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