"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
