Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
