Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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