Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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