anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
