Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
