summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
