The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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