Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
