You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
