How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize