Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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