I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize