For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
