never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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