Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
