Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
