He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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