oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
