I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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