Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
