I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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