last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
