NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
