these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I wear drunk well.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
