the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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