I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize