A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So vagazzling was a success
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
